I trolled you.
There is a game, and you are not the winner of it.
As you sit here, reading this— unless, of course, you have a standing desk—
I have, in fact, trolled you. Yes: you have been trolled.
For, you see: as you clicked this link, you entered into a whole new universe— a web wrought, of my own intrigue.
You clicked this link, thinking that you'd find something entertaining— or informative— or, at the very least, interesting. But, instead, you have found this. And therefore, sir and/or madam, you have been trolled. In point of fact.
You are now the victim of a ruse.
Truly, you are the one to blame. For you thought you could find something useful; something thoughtful; something made by the careful hands of a thinking, lucid, human being. But, sir, you were wrong. For I have trolled you.
You are trolled, now.
There is no escape.
For you have lost the game.
Pobrecito. You actually thought, that there might be normal people, online? With functioning brains? Those who would not turn everything into a meaningless quorum, every member of which would be engaged in their own separate, distinct, disparate, own conceits?
Were you born in a barn? Shut the door of your mind, more.
There is nothing here but madness, my little powered steamshovel.
One might even argue that you, dear twist, are the villain, here. For your own selfish attempts at finding meaningful content online, that was not written with malicious intent, are nothing but the labor of a fool. Your actions are folly, my tender little wigwam!
In clicking this link, you took the bait. For you are my fish.
Oh: all of this was satire.
Why the hell did you write this?
I originally wrote this February 4th, 2016— a kinder, gentler time, back when my father was still alive and I was silly as all Hell— and, it was a response to Conservative / Neo-Nazi types, trolls, et al, pretending that every stupid thing they said or did was 'satire', or a 'parody', et al. Et cetera.
There's a saying: much truth is said in jest. Well, here's another one: a lot of shit people say and actually mean, they say it's a joke when they get into trouble for saying it. And I just wanted to make fun of them.
The Internet has become truly stupid. Just the dumbest place imaginable. And, a lot of the times, you'll run into people like this, who think this sort of stupid nonsense is actually 'true'. Or 'good'. Or whatever. You'll run into somebody who's like, 'you just lost the game;' and then they run off, giggling. That's why I wrote this.
Because it's stupid, and it consistently makes me laugh, every time I read it. :3c